Rachel: I don't know...right, he's the pig!
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Rachel: Oh, God, he's such a pig,
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Rachel: He's like a big disgusting...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Rachel: ...pig...pig man!
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Rachel: (voice wavers) Oh, but he was my pig man...how did I not see this?
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Rachel: Ok, Ok, Pheebs...
Phoebe: The end.
Rachel: Oh, God...
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
Rachel: No, no, trust, me, it's, it's, it's much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better...
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Ross: (wiping his brow) Ah...ooh! Well, looks like, uh, we kicked your butts.
Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.
Ross: Come on, two on one.
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
Ross: What, now?
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is throwing Paolo's clothes over the side.]
Paolo: No, that's cold, that's cold, that's...
[Cut to inside the apartment.]
Ross: (entering) How's it going?
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Phoebe: Ooh!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Paolo: Grazie.
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Ross: Oh you guys, I-I really think just one of us should go out there so she's not overwhelmed...
Monica: Oh, you're right.
Ross: (pulls Monica back) ...and I really think it should be me.
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
Ross: Hey.
Rachel: Hey.
Ross: You all right?
Rachel: Ooh, I've been better...
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Rachel: Oh, Ross...
Ross: What?
